Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.

Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.

Humor is man's greatest blessing.

What marriage is to morality, a properly conducted licensed liquor traffic is to sobriety.

Comparison is the death of joy.

I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S Grant in full military regalia.

Perhaps no poet is a conscious plagiarist, but there seems to be warrant for suspecting that there is no poet who is not at one time or another an unconscious one.