If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.

There are two reasons why anybody buys anything. The real reason, and the reason they give you.

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.

Evolution is the law of policies: Darwin said it, Socrates endorsed it, Cuvier proved it and established it for all time in his paper on The Survival of the Fittest. These are illustrious names, this is a mighty doctrine: nothing can ever remove it from its firm base, nothing dissolve it, but evolution.

There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.