God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.

Carlyle said 'a lie cannot live.' It shows that he did not know how to tell them.

When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a leetle more expensive.

There ain't nothing more to write about and I'm rotten glad of it, because if I'd know'd what trouble it was to make a book, I wouldn't a tackled it.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.