When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a leetle more expensive.

There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.

isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.

I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.

Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome; in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather.

In God We Trust. It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings. It is simple, direct, gracefully phrased; it always sounds well - In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.

Never mistake motion for progress.