Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

By "trampling upon the helpless abroad" with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, "by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home."

Man is kind enough when he is not excited by religion

No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.

Never argue with people who buy ink by the gallon.

I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.