Geniuses are people who dash off weird, wild, incomprehensible poems with astonishing facility, & then go & get booming drunk & sleep in the gutter. Genius elevates a man to ineffable speres [sic] far above the vulgar world, & fills his soul with a regal contempt for the gross & sordid things of earth. It is probably on account of this that people who have genius do not pay their board, as a general thing.

The real yellow peril: Gold.

Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.

Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.

Life does not consist mainly - or even largely - of facts and happenings.

Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch it.

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink.