Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

The most successful people are those who do all year long what they would otherwise do on their summer vacation.

Compliments make me vain: & when I am vain, I am insolent & overbearing. It is a pity, too, because I love compliments. I love them even when they are not so. My child, I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat.

Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

They all laid their heads together like as many lawyers when they are gettin' ready to prove that a man's heirs ain't got any right to his property.

One day man by the slow processes of evolution shall develop into something really fine and high - some billions of years hence, say.