Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

A gentleman is a man who can play the banjo, but doesn't.

Your actions speak so much louder than words.

True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.

One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.

I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.