We laugh and laugh. Then cry and cry- Then feebler laugh, Then die.

If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so

The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers and they who are millionaires.

To someone with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.