The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.

Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.

No church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit.

Every improvement that is put upon the real estate is the result of an idea in somebody's head. The skyscraper is another idea; the railroad is another; the telephone and all those things are merely symbols which represent ideas. An andiron, a wash-tub, is the result of an idea that did not exist before.

In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.