It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.

There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.

There is not a single celebrated Southern name in any of the departments of human industry except those of war, assassination, lynching, murder, the duel, repudiation, & massacre.

There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were willing to reveal it.

Be good and you'll be lonesome

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.