Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess; second, don't drink - to excess; third, don't marry - to excess.

Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass