It takes me a long time to lose my temper, but once lost I could not find it with a dog.

But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

I speak French with timidity, and not flowingly--except when excited. When using that language I have often noticed that I have hardly ever been mistaken for a Frenchman, except, perhaps, by horses; never, I believe, by people.

Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?

Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.

All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.