It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right

At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass

It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.

There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages.

The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.

Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.

I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.