It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.

A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.

It is a dear and lovely disposition, and a most valuable one, that can brush away indignities and discourtesies and seek and find the pleasanter features of an experience.

That which was hard to endure is sweet to remember.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.

He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.