Will a day come when the race will detect the funniness of these juvenilities and laugh at them—and by laughing at them destroy them? For your race, in its poverty, has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, Money, Persuasion, Supplication, Persecution--these can lift at a colossal humbug,—push it a little— crowd it a little—weaken it a little, century by century: but only Laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of Laughter nothing can stand. - "The Chronicle of Young Satan," Mysterious Stranger Manuscripts

Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Each person is born to one possession which outvalues all his others-his last breath.

... the English alphabet is pure insanity..., It can hardly spell any word in the language with any degree of certainty.

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.

Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.