A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.

Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail; the more you pay, the more is exacted.

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.

It is often the case that a man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one.

Being made merely in the image of God but not otherwise resembling him enough to be mistaken by anybody but a very near sighted person.

Switzerland would me a mighty big place if it were ironed flat.

There is no humor in heaven.