How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!

Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.

There's nobody for me to attack in this matter even with soft and gentle ridicule-and I shouldn't ever think of using a grown up weapon in this kind of a nursery. Above all, I couldn't venture to attack the clergymen whom you mention, for I have their habits and live in the same glass house which they are occupying. I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

I will gradually drop this subject of graveyards. I have been trying all I could to get down to the sentimental part of it, but I cannot accomplish it. I think there is no genuinely sentimental part to it. It is all grotesque, ghastly, horrible.

On with dance, let joy be unconfined, is my motto; whether there's any dance to dance or any joy to unconfined.

I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.