Stripping away the irrational, the illogical, and the impossible, I am left with atheism. I can live with that.

Yes - en I's rich now, come to look at it. I owns myself, en I's wuth eight hund'd dollars. I wisht I had de money, I wouldn' want no mo'.

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Every inventor is a crackpot until his idea succeeds.

It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.