Anybody can have ideas-the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph.

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.

God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.

A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.