A German joke is no laughing matter.

Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.

It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.

Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.