A German joke is no laughing matter.

Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.

There is not a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.

There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.

If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.