'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.

The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

It is sound statesmanship to add two battleships every time our neighbour adds one and two stories to our skyscrapers every time he piles a new one on top of his to threaten our light. There is no limit to this soundness but the sky.