Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.

I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.

Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.

There isn't anything you can't stand if you are only born and bred to it.

It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

Time spent with your children is time wisely spent.