You can't keep a juvenile moral institution alive on two displays of its sash per year.

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

Love your enemy, it will scare the hell out of them.

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.