Good wine needs no bush; a jug is the thing.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone

I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.

[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.

I am persuaded that the world has been tricked into adopting some false and most pernicious notions about consistency - and to such a degree that the average man has turned the rights and wrongs of things entirely around and is proud to be "consistent," unchanging, immovable, fossilized, where it should be his humiliation.

Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!