Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?

Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth

Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!

Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.

If it is a Miracle, any sort of evidence will answer, but if it is a Fact, proof is necessary

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.

A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging. It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor of it overlooked no detail that could furnish weariness, distress, harassment, and acute and long-sustained misery of mind and body.