Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.

As I have said before, I never had any large respect for good spelling. That is my feeling yet. Before the spelling-book came with its arbitrary forms, men unconsciously revealed shades of their characters, and also added enlightening shades of expression to what they wrote by their spelling, and so it is possible that the spelling-book has been a doubtful benevolence to us.

It will take mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details, and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss.

The worst thing you can do to a man is to tell him he can have what he wants.

The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad - but whiskey!

It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.