Each person is born to one possession which outvalues all his others-his last breath.

Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail; the more you pay, the more is exacted.

The Bible is a wonderful book; you can prove anything you want with it.

There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.

I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago. You can't go beyond possibility.

I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.

I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.