A reputable lawyer will advise you to keep out of the law, make the best of a foolish bargain, and not get caught again.
Mark TwainNow and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
Mark TwainThere is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
Mark Twain...one of the first achievements of the legislature was to institute a ten-thousand-dollar agricultural fair to show off forty dollars' worth of pumpkins in - however, the Territorial legislature was usually spoken of as the "asylum".
Mark TwainYou perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks - in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present; you should have recognized them earlier.
Mark TwainProtestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.
Mark Twain