No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.