New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so.

A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.