I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treasure to the world. As a sweetheart, she has few equals and no superiors; as a cousin, she is convenient; as a wealthy grandmother with an incurable distemper, she is precious; as a wet-nurse, she has no equal among men. What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.

To forget pain is to be painless; to forget care is to be rid of it; to go abroad is to accomplish both.

How lovely is death; and how niggardly it is doled out.

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death!

If true, rarely beautiful. If beautiful, rarely true.

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.