If science exterminates a disease which has been working for God, it is God that gets the credit and all the pulpits break into grateful advertising-raptures and call attention to how good he is. Yes, he has done it. Perhaps he waited a thousand years before doing it. They forget to say that he is the slowest mover in the universe, that his Eye That Never Sleeps, might as well, since it takes a century to see what any other eye can see in a week.

If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people

The true and lasting genius of humour does not drag you thus to boxes labelled 'pathos,' 'humour,' and show you all the mechanism of the inimitable puppets that are going to perform. How I used to laugh at Simon Tapperwit, and the Wellers, and a host more! But I can't do it now somehow; and time, it seems to me, is the true test of humour. It must be antiseptic.

If you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward. You will never get her full confidence again.

I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong, and he says - "Yes; the little ones does".

I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the #‎ telephone .

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.