If science exterminates a disease which has been working for God, it is God that gets the credit and all the pulpits break into grateful advertising-raptures and call attention to how good he is. Yes, he has done it. Perhaps he waited a thousand years before doing it. They forget to say that he is the slowest mover in the universe, that his Eye That Never Sleeps, might as well, since it takes a century to see what any other eye can see in a week.
Mark TwainWhen someone dies, it is like when your house burns down; it isn't for years that you realize the full extent of your loss.
Mark TwainThe human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Mark TwainWhen you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a leetle more expensive.
Mark TwainIf the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
Mark Twain