I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.

The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot

Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.

I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.