I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.

The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.

Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.

It was the schoolboy who said, ""Faith is believing what you know ain't so.""

I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.

Great enterprises usually promise vastly more than they perform.

It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the burden. Meantime, I seem to have been drifting into criticism myself. But that is nothing. At the worst, criticism is nothing more than a crime, and I am not unused to that.