I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.

Talking of patriotism, what humbug it is; it is a word which always commemorates a robbery.

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.

You are about as happy as you make up your mind to be.

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.

It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.

In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.