It liberates the vandal to travel-you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck in one place since he was born and thought God made the world and dyspepsia and bile for his especial comfort and satisfaction.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting

The best and most telling speech is not the actual impromptu one but the counterfeit of it.

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.