I try never to let my schooling get in the way of my education.

Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.

No sane man can be happy, for to him life is real, and he sees what a fearful thing it is.

My first American ancestor, gentlemen, was an Indian-an early Indian. Your ancestors skinned him alive, and I am an orphan. All those Salem witches were ancestors of mine. Your people made it tropical for them. . . . The first slave brought into New England out of Africa was an ancestor of mine-for I am a mixed breed, an infinitely shaded and exquisite Mongrel.

There isn't anything so grotesque or so incredible that the average human being can't believe it.

Human Beings are the only animals that blush, or need to.

Man is the only Patriot. He sets himself apart in his own country, under his own flag, and sneers at the other nations, and keeps multitudinous uniformed assassins on hand at heavy expense to grab slices of other people's countries, and keep them from grabbing slices of his. And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for the universal brotherhood of man - with his mouth.