Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick; but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.

When the human race has once acquired a superstition, nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it.

Eventually, I sickened of people, myself included, who didn't think enough of themselves to make something of themselves- people who did only what they had to and never what they could have done. I learned from them the infected loneliness that comes at the end of every misspent day. I knew I could do better.

Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.