The existing phrasebooks are inadequate. They are well enough as far as they go, but when you fall down and skin your leg they don't tell you what to say.

We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made, or only just happened - Jim he allowed they was made, but I allowed they happened; I judged it would have took too long to make so many. Jim said the moon could a laid them; well that looked kind of reasonable, so I didn't say nothing against it, because I've seen a frog lay most as many, so of course It could be done.

There are some few people I respect and admire, but I don't think much of the species.

Humor is man's greatest blessing.

One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.

To my mind that literature is best and most enduring which is characterized by a noble simplicity.

The new political gospel: public office is private graft.