The existing phrasebooks are inadequate. They are well enough as far as they go, but when you fall down and skin your leg they don't tell you what to say.

The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

The vast majority of the race whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind at heart and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence of the aggressive and pitiless minority they don't dare to assert themselves.

Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.

I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.

Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.