...we all know that in all matters of mere opinion that [every] man is insane-just as insane as we are...we know exactly where to put our finger upon his insanity: it is where his opinion differs from ours....All Democrats are insane, but not one of them knows it. None but the Republicans. All the Republicans are insane, but only the Democrats can perceive it. The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.

I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.

There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer.

There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!

Being made merely in the image of God but not otherwise resembling him enough to be mistaken by anybody but a very near sighted person.

The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.