Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.

There isn't anything so grotesque or so incredible that the average human being can't believe it.

Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.

To trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible, vindictive, fierce and ever fickle and changeful master.

More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.