I have been scientifically studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so-called,) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result profoundly humiliating to me. For it obliges me to renounce my allegiance to the Darwinian theory of the Ascent of Man from the Lower Animals; since it now seems plain to me that that theory ought to be vacated in favor of a new and truer one, this new and truer one to be named the Descent of Man from the Higher Animals.

The water is clearer than the air, and the air is the air that angels breathe.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.