Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.

Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.

When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.

My memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges.

If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.

Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.

For England must not fall: it would mean an inundation of Russian & German political degradations which would envelop the globe & steep it in a sort of Middle-Age night & slaverly which would last till Christ comes again - which I hope he will not do; he made trouble enough before.