...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.

It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.

I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.

The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.

If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

The true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is good to time the movement of the tongue by, and to keep the blood and the brain stirred up and active; the scenery and the woodsy smells are good to bear in upon a man an unconscious and unobtrusive charm and solace to eye and soul and sense; but the supreme pleasure comes from the talk.

If men bore children, there would only be one born in each family.