Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

It's a good thing for a dog to have fleas; keeps his mind off being a dog.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

It is curious and interesting to notice what an attraction a fussy, mincing, nickel-plated word has for you.