Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.

Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly ofthe storm of thought that is forever flowing through one's head.

All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

My experience with horses is that they never throw away a chance to go lame.