Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.

Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.

I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.

Be good and you'll be lonesome

It is higher and nobler to be kind.

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink.

Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.