Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.

The partitions of the houses were so thin we could hear the women occupants of adjoining rooms changing their minds.

It is not best to use our morals weekdays, it gets them out of repair for Sunday.

Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.

No temperance society which is well officered and which has the real good of our fellow-men in view, will ever get drunk save in the seclusion of its temperance hall.

The moral of it is this: If you are of any account, stay at home and make your way by faithful diligence; but if you are 'no account,' go away from home, and then you will have to work, whether you want to or not. Thus you become a blessing to your friends by ceasing to be a nuisance to them-if the people you go among suffer by the operation.

Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.