If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
God pours out love upon all with a lavish hand -- but He reserves vengeance for His very own.
It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.
A wanton waste of projectiles.
What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it.