If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.

Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia.

It is impossible that a genius - at least a literary genius - can ever be discovered by his intimates; they are so close to him that he is out of focus to them and they can't get at his proportions; they can't perceive that there is any considerable difference between his bulk and their own.

But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most, our one fellow and brother who most needed a friend yet had not a single one, the one sinner among us all who had the highest and clearest right to every Christian's daily and nightly prayers, for the plain and unassailable reason that his was the first and greatest need, he being among sinners the supremest?

Some people give their problems swimming lessons instead of drowning them.

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.