Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.

You are a coward when you even seem to have backed down from a thing you openly set out to do

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so

Sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get achance, because if you don't want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does, and a good deed ain't ever forgot. I never see papa when he didn't want the chicken himself, but that is what he used to say, anyway.

I fell in love with the most cordial and sociable city in the Union.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

I'm all for prosperity. It's change I object to.