Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.

There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to; but a hog is different.

The best of us would rather be popular than right.

Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.

It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when he came down to earth, he became the opposite... sweet, gentle merciful, forgiving. He was a thousand billion times crueler than ever he was in the Old Testament... Meek and gentle? By and by we will examine that popular sarcasm by the light of the hell which he invented.