He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.
Mark TwainI asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong, and he says - "Yes; the little ones does".
Mark TwainOnly laughter can blow [a colossal humbug] to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark TwainIf we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read and write, everyone would limp and stutter.
Mark TwainThis is a Christian country. Why, so is hell. Inasmuch as Strait is the way and narrow is the gate, and few - few - are they that enter in thereat has had the natural effect of making hell the only really prominent Christian community in any of the worlds; but we don't brag of this and certainly it is not proper to brag and boast that America is a Christian country when we all know that certainly five-sixths of our population could not enter in at the narrow gate.
Mark Twain