Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.

It is sound judgment to put on a bold face and play your hand for a hundred times what it is worth; forty-nine times out of fifty nobody dares to call it, and you roll in the chips.

Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

It was the schoolboy who said, ""Faith is believing what you know ain't so.""

Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute-but they all worship money.