If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I have noticed that when a man is right down cheerful, he is seldom unhappy for the time being. Such is the nature of man.

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

When we do not know a person - and also when we do - we have to judge his size by the size and nature of his achievements, as compared with the achievements of others in his special line of business - there is no other way.

India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.

A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment, anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.

A private should preserve a respectful attitude toward his superiors, and should seldom or never proceed so far as to offer suggestions to his general in the field. If the battle is not being conducted to suit him, it is better for him to resign. By the etiquette of war, it is permitted to none below the rank of newspaper correspondent to dictate to the general in the field.